Mobile Gaming is Terrible Again

I used to mock people who played mobile games. I'd insinuate, or even flat out state, that mobile games (DS + PSP) were mostly terrible kiddy versions of games, and I wasn't wrong. Then Hotel Dusk happened. Then Phoenix Wright happened. Then, Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions happened. Things were looking up.

Since then, mobile games, mainly via iOS, have exploded, and have thus been properly watered down for the slack-jawed anti-intellectual masses. This is good and bad.

The good is that we got Angry Birds. The bad is damn near everything else that came out.

As I see it, we should be working to make mobile games more like games that can't be mobile. Throw in a 'save anywhere' feature on the mobile version, and you're good to go.

Granted, PC gaming has been there for years. I've been able to play any PC game I wanted on the road for a number of years, but it's difficult to deploy that setup in a vehicle while on a road trip, or on a train. This is where the PlayStation Vita comes into play (and maybe even some phones.)

The Vita has some serious horsepower, and should be the home for straight ports of PlayStation 2 & 3 games, and based on my experience with MLB 2012, continuing the same season on both devices is easy and a great way to play the game.

What I'm hoping happens is that the wall between 'home' gaming and mobile gaming goes away, and the two converge into one. It'd be great to have a deep RPG on the iPad, play it on the go, then come home and stream it to my TV via AppleTV. Same thing with the PS3 and Vita.

Steam Cloud has made this simpler than ever. I used to map my 'My Documents' folder on my laptop to my gaming desktop and set it to sync for offline, so that saves would stay concurrent, but I don't need to do that anymore for most games.

Get rid of the gimmicks, stop catering to the lowest common denominator, and focus on the technology and richness of experience.

What say you? What's your ideal gaming experience, both at home and away?

-Blaine
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Sony Review

I know that I need to wait and see what Nintendo's got in store before I degenerate into one of 'them' and start waving my arms around screaming 'Sony won the show,' but Microsoft lowered the bar enough to make that wait difficult.

Sony offered more games with fewer gimmicks that MS did. Period. Sure, there was some silliness about the PS Move, but we got to see Uncharted and all those other games that I'm not terribly interested in.

We got to see the PS Vita, which is, dare I say it, the best gaming handheld I've ever seen. No gimmicks. It plays games in as straightforward a fashion as you could ever want. And it's $249. Fucking great.

That being said, the Move should be the platform for that Kinect Lightsaber game. It's more natural to hold something in your hands. I play Tiger using the Move on my PS3, and having something to hold while golfing is way better than pretending to hold something.

Also, I thought that Jack Tretton had his best personal show ever. He handled the PSN debacle well, and he seemed more relaxed than ever before.

I can't say enough about how impressed I was with both Uncharted games, and can't wait to get my hands on either one. I'm looking forward to the MP beta later this month.

Game Trailers - E3 2011

G'nite!

-Blaine

PRE3 Drives Us to DRINK!

This is so not my fault. Tony started drinking at 9AM and then just kinda showed up at my house, ready to record. Lucky for you all, I filled him full of caffeine and pain-killers, and we rolled this motherfucker out. We combed through our sources and the internet to find every potential game worth talking about, and assembled a 3-hour EPIC PRE3 show for you that hearkens back to the old days of Untitled Podcast madness. Gone are our recent attempts at concision and we lay out for you a plentiful harvest of information and correct opinions.

From Dragon Age 2 to Rock Band 3 to The Last Guardian to the final Nintendo 3DS specs, we have it all for you, and we tell you exactly what we're watching for, what's got us excited, and what the Cardinals were doing while we recorded this.

Explode your mind here!

Keep an eye on this blog, as each day, both of us will be carpet-bombing you with updates and opinions, be sure to keep an eye on both of our Twitter feeds for moment-to-moment reactions:

Blaine

Tony

PLEASE let us know what you wanna hear about from us, and also let us know what you think is going to be the hottest shit during the show!

I'll give you one teaser here. I'm gonna keep a sharp eye on Brink. It's being developed by Splash Damage, who I think are the absolute best when it comes to class-based shooters, and the mix of single-player and multi-player sounds amazing. Check it out.



That looks hot. I like how the cinematic trailer really gives you a feel for the type of gameplay they're shooting for. I trust the guys at Splash Damage, and can't wait for this one. Keep an eye out for it @ E3.

-Blaine

Untitled Gaming & E3

First, we must absolutely indulge in an old tradition:








I never, ever get tired of that. God, I used to love G4TV.

Anyway, so we'll be doing some E3 podcasting and some E3 blogging. We're recording on Saturday, and will have it out a bit earlier than usual, due to some crazy scheduling, and then throughout the week I'm going to blog a bit each day, and I'll try to bug Tony into doing the same. Additionally, you can follow Tony and myself (Blaine) on Twitter, for our fairly-live reactions to each of the pressers and announcements. Somehow, some way, we're going to do a post-E3 podcast. I don't know how, but maybe we can do something cool and different with the wrap-up podcast.

It seems, more and more, like this is the year that a) console makers are justifying the lack of new & more powerful hardware by introducing various waggling methods, b) waggling methods might really catch fire and replace what we know and love as 'fun games,' and c) that my cynicism might take a real punch to the nuts because Bioware & Squenidos team up into a Voltron of gaming awesome and introducing a waggling method for menu-navigation and win my love forever.

So, yeah, it's going to be an interesting year for me, because I have my expectations way lowered. While I'd love to see something about Dragon Age 2 & Mass Effect 3, I'm expecting Bioware to throw all their weight behind establishing Star Wars: the Old Republic as the WoW-killer that EA needs. Now, this isn't a bad thing, but it's something I already know exists ... in the distant future. A release date and pricing scheme would be nice.

Additionally, Nintendo is going to show the 3DS with a handful of awful kids' games, and I'll do what I do with their handhelds every time and wait until they start releasing either original interactive stories or Final Fantasy ports in the system's second or third year.

The PSP2 has the chance to be great IF IF IF there's a second analog control. If there's not, it's going to be a hard sell and Sony should fire every fucking moron that was involved in that decision.

Natal & PlayStation Move also have a chance to be very cool IF IF IF the software is there. They need to demonstrate this technology as something so immersive and accurate that it is truly a better gaming experience than the controller or mouse/keyboard combo. The lack of force feedback is a real problem, though, just like on Wii.

Which leads me to what E3 should always be about, which is the GAMES. I don't think there's anything coming out the rest of this year that I'm really, really excited about, which is a very strange feeling for me. Dragon Age 2, Gears of War 3, Final Fantasy XIV, Star Wars: the Old Republic, Guild Wars 2, and maybe Mass Effect 3 are all next year. I am curious to see if Obsidian can take the Fallout 3 formula and make it NOT painful to talk or fight in the game, with their Fallout: New Vegas.

So, we'll see. I'm pumped for E3, but it's a very tempered, curious 'pumped.'

What about you? How are you feeling going into E3? What's got you pumped? What are totally negative about? Are there going to be any surprises this year? If so, WHAT?

As always, thanks for reading, and expect to see a LOT here over the next week!

-Blaine

Flavors of RPG

So, the podcast is still sitting here on my HDD. It's still too big to upload, because Monday & Tuesday merge into one hellish day each week because I have so much I have to get done those two days. Well, I am free on Tuesday nights, but I'm so wiped out and angry by that point that I'm sure as hell not 'working' on something.

No, instead, I went all kindsa foaming-mouth mad for the new Dragon Age expansion, Awakening. More on that in a minute.

I do love it, though. What I've noticed is that the more someone in a forum post hates it, the worse they spell, so I think the problem may be that there is in-game reading required, and the retards/teabaggers get all sortsa mad about this, and spam-post in forums. I wish forums had a spelling test before someone was allowed to post at that moment. NO. A spelling/grammar test, so that their bile became readable. YES.

Anyway, I was instructed to write about Final Fantasy XIII, and I shall now do so.

Had you broken into my house and listened to the podcast, you'd know that the first point that I made was actually about the soundtrack, which I acquired some time ago. It's composed, rather well, really, by Masashi Hamauzu, and ONLY by Hamauzu-san. This is a first for the numerical Final Fantasy games, since even Final Fantasy XII, which was composed Hitoshi Sakimoto, still featured a handful of tunes from Nobuo Uematsu, who, until Final Fantasy X, scored every bit of music to ever appear in a numerical Final Fantasy game.

The fact that Final Fantasy XIII featured NONE of the classic Final Fantasy tunes told me everything I needed to know about this game. This was a new beginning for the franchise. They were really and truly, finally, severing ties with the past and moving on. I wasn't thrilled about that, but given how much I've enjoyed the game so far, I've let it go.

This game is perfect for people who do normal things in the Meatspace, like raise children, go to work, enjoy other hobbies, go to work AND school, go to work AND school AND raise children, go to work AND school AND raise children AND bribe the wife for sex, watch Lost, etc.

The sections in between save points are short without being microscopic, and let someone like me just sit down and place through as many of these sections as I'd like. If I were retarded, I'd refer to them as 'bite-size.'

What I've done is actually use these points as an excuse to dive head-first into the menus and get my 'nerd' on.

When I first started playing game, I like, everyone else, immediately noticed how streamlined a lot of things were. The battles can run with minimal input from the player, the areas and story are on a rail, so I was worried that my favorite part of any RPG would be gone, but (phew) one can still spend hours in the menus just dicking around with the Crystarium, customizing Paradigms, tweaking weapons and accessories, and on and on.

I'll be straight with you, though. I have found the linearity a bit stifling when I play for more than 2-3 hours at a time, I despise half the characters, and I don't like it as much I like the most recent Bioware RPGs.

Lemme talk about the characters right quick, though. Okay, Sazh and Vanille, you're cool, so you can go. Oh, wait. Wait. Vanille, I'd like you to stop having orgasms every time you make a sound. It's REALLY annoying, okay? Thanks. Bye, now. Hope and Lightning, please cover yourselves in this gasoline and go stand on the edge of that cliff. Closer. A liiittle closer. Little closer. Okay. Now, please set yourselves on fire and then jump. Thanks!

That pretty much sums up my feelings on the characters.

By the way, I really want to strat a petition that bans English-dubbed female Japanese-originated characters from having orgasms every time they make a sound. You know what I'm talking about right? These gals make a waterfall of non-word sounds OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, but only in bad dubs, like this one. Know how I know it's a bad dub? The girls, with the notable exception of Lightning, who is too annoying to have a proper vagina, all act like they have vibrators in their panties every time they make a sound.

Whoah. Went on too long on that one.

Oh, and some people have had a real problem with the fact that one must read the Datalogs to have any clue as to what's going on in the game. I understand their position, and might feel the same way if I hadn't just gone and read the fucking Datalogs without having to be told to do so. Aside from the game telling me. And not spamming Twitter with all kinds of inane questions. Nope, I was that one smart American.

Anyway, it is an odd choice on the part of the developers to not provide an overt context for the events of the game, but it is all there. Also, if you hate reading, I have some Dragon Age 'fans' that you should meet...

As for the story itself, I'm intrigued. First of all, there's not a giant underwater thing that gently rocks boats instead of smashing them to pieces named Sin who is secretly the greatest Blitzball player ever and oh by the way Blitzball sucks ass and now that you mention it Final Fantasy X was pretty bad well except the battle system but the story and characters and dungeon design were so bad as to nearly be illegal in some countries.

Second, I'm not as into the story as I was in IV, VI, VII, IX, & XII, but it seems to be getting there. It just really hurts that (so far) two of the characters are so utterly detestable.

Oh, and for those who want to know, I'm currently towards the end of the animal sanctuary / bio-weapons development.

Also, some time, I want to elaborate on here about the discussion Laurance and I were having about the parallels between Final Fantasy XIII and Mass Effect 2, specifically pertaining to their mutual streamlining.

Now, I'm going to refuse to let myself play more Dragon Age - Awakening, and go play more Final Fantasy XIII and then maybe some Perfect Dark...

What about you? What do you think of Final Fantasy XIII? Or, why are you pigheadedly refusing to play it?

-Blaine