Looking back, I should've financed an intern to come to my apartment and Draw magic for me from enemies for several hours. Seriously, how the fuck was that allowed to make it to the production version of the game?
Oh, and Squall ... ugh ... worst lead character in a Final Fantasy ever ... well, maybe second to that obnoxious daddy-issue-laden jerkoff shitbag Tidus. It's like some Japanese consulting firm came to the States, saw all the sad little emo boys of the late 90s, and decided that 'feelings' needed to be a bullet-point on the back of the jewel case for Final Fantasy VIII and X. As if having watched Cloud wobble in a wheelchair like a drunk, blonde cactus for 10 hours in FFVII wasn't enough 'feelings' for the entire series. Ugh. And Tidus ... I'm still disappointed there was no way to drown that whiny prick, even with all that water. Ugh. UGH. ACK. At least Cloud was an identity-stealing sociopath.
Anyway, now that I've thoroughly dated myself, I used to play everything, but only finish Final Fantasy games. FASCINATING, I know.
Nowadays, insane Steam sales aside, I play far, far fewer games, but finish a far higher percentage (let's just look away from my 300+ game Steam library and play along.)
Part of that has come from the fact that I just don't give a shit about your dudebro, mouthbreather, generic, annualized military shooter anymore, and part of it is from the fact that I look at my family, I see the years of wear and tear on my body start to accumulate, and realize that if I'm going to spend any time at all gaming, it needs to be spent on games that actually contribute something to my life, which for me, is RPGs (and some strategy and some driving sims.)
Yeah, okay, I'll still pop in for the occasional Battlefield match, but rarely. I don't play BF4 40+ hours a week, so I'm not good enough to really enjoy it, and multiplayer in games tends not to drive me down a thrilling narrative path, so I tend to regard them as a waste of time. Some MMOs, because of their structure, are exempted from this.
I'll also veer outside of this for games that aren't RPGs, but still tell good stories well, like the Uncharted series and various PC adventure titles.
There's just something about being swept up in a narrative experience that feels substantial, like a good novel, almost, and getting to explore another world in an interactive way deeply reinforces that perception. While my life is far less stressful than it used to be, I still find that I love totally checking out of this reality for a bit, and living in a world that is not this one, whether it be the rolling expanses of Tamriel, the politically-charged kingdoms of Thedas, the wasteland of post-apocalyptic Washington DC, the wind-swept tombs of Korriban, or the bright, endless expanse inside the Citadel.
On top of that, cracking open games, digging through their files, and either editing them myself or installing mods, and then getting to dictate my experience is fantastic.
For me, the interactivity with a game doesn't stop at the user interface, but being able to tailor the game even more to my tastes makes the experience more 'mine,' and so much more enjoyable.
And I still enjoy the occasional RPG on console, when it's the only way to play it, like the rare modern JRPG that's worth playing.
On top of that, I still have a pile of shame like you wouldn't believe. Between 90s PC RPGs of which I wasn't aware, and newer console-only (for shame) titles like Dragon's Dogma that I hate playing on console, and the entire Bethesda catalogue, I've got a pile of shame that is daunting.
Combine that with the fact that I hardly game during the week (8-5 as a developer, 5-8 with the kids, 8-? with the wife), most of my gaming is night-time binging on Friday and/or Saturday night, so I have to be fairly selective, and force myself to focus on one, maybe two, game(s). And I've sometimes been known to sneak in some time during sports broadcasts by seeing how long my legs can stand the Alienware laptop while in my recliner (my normal gaming rig is a custom build ['of course it is, you pretentious dickbag,' is what you're thinking, but it's okay.])
What's funny, too, is I used to experience something approaching anxiety about not being super-plugged-in to the gaming scene when I decided to start scaling back my purchases and genre interests. Time and the realization that most so-called hardcore gamers are just awful people really changed that. Between the built-in racism and misogynism endemic to the 'hardcore gamer,' I was more than happy to divorce myself from that crowd. The 'anti-diversity' thing that pervades comments sections in gaming articles makes me want to throw up in your mouth.
Additionally, as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that the concept of being 'hardcore' about anything tends to imply that a person has a gaping emotional hole in their life that they're desperately trying to fill, only to further erode any shot at happiness they'll ever have. As great as that sounds, I'll keep my life interests diversified, and spend what little gaming time I have in a way that is fulfilling and fun.
I remember recoiling in horror, as younger man, at the thought of ever having to 'give up' the huge amount of gaming time that I had. Maybe that's where you are right now, and that's okay. I was like that, too, for a real long time. It's important, though, to remember that you're a moron, your priorities are beyond fucked, and right now is a good time consider completely overhauling your core identity, before you do something completely stupid, like reply in a way that is deeply passionate to a comment in an article about which is better: PS4 or Xbox One.
What about you? How has your gaming experience changed over time?
Also, I don't know why I've been bringing up Final Fantasy so much in these recent posts. Sorry about that. I hardly touch the series anymore. I don't know what that's about.
Thanks for reading, and I'll be back soon.
-Blaine
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