All through the 90s, I stuck with the console RPGs, usually Square titles, but then branched out once Squenix decided that most of the design choices in Final Fantasy X were a good idea (they were not).
At that time, I discovered BioWare, then traced them back to Black Isle, and before I knew it, Obsidian existed, and then CD Projekt Red sprang up, and I had so many awesome RPGs from which to choose.
Somewhere in there, Bethesda and I never got some on the page (scroll.)
I never understood it, either. On paper (scroll), Bethesda games should be my dream games. Open world, freedom of choice, a shit load of menus, tons of stats, tons of variables, insanely deep lore. All of those things equal my dream game, and yet ... it just never clicked for me.
The years went by, Bethesda would drop the occasional release here and there, I'd inevitably pick it up on or near release day, because THIS was going to be the Bethesda game that I'd finally get into, and ... it never happened.
I kept telling myself it was the combat (which is pretty bad for such refined games), or I'd tell myself it was the weak central narrative (which is almost nonexistent in some titles), or I'd tell myself it was the pain-in-the-ass traversal of the game world (which can be horribly painful if you take a single wrong turn.) Still, everyone so often, I'd fire up Fallout 3 or Oblivion, and something would almost click. Something would almost tickle the right part of the brain to pull me in, and yet ... it would just never quite happen.
I think, initially, I had a bit of culture shock, if you will. See, in most of the BioWare / Squenix / Black Isle games I've played, if there's a dice-roll associated with an attack, it's an explicitly expressed dice-roll, meaning that the user is informed that there is 'chance' associated with the invocation of this action.
In Bethesda games, the dice-roll is implicit, rather than explicit. When I swing/shoot this sword/gun, there's a dice-roll, even though in most games when I swing/shoot, there's a 1-1 association between animation and object collision.
Throw in there the first-person perspective, and if you're not accustomed to Bethesda games, your mind is trying to demand that there be an automatic 'hit' when you shoot/swing, while, underneath this FPS veneer is a very, very deep RPG engine that wags its finger and says 'ah, ah, ah ... +2 to hit.
At first, this made combat very hard for me. I'm a seasoned RPG veteran, but something about this mishmash of genres really fucked me up. I'd be swinging like mad at a Cliff Racer, only to be taken down by Prehistoric Fucking Tweetie Bird.
Additionally, ranged enemies soon became problematic. Also, jumping. Also, navigating the map. Also, the world just being so big. Also ... it just stopped being fun after a while.
I own EVERY FUCKING GAME Bethesda has ever released. Oh, and all the expansions and DLC and shit. Yup, I'm THAT guy. I wanted so badly to love these games. There's so much in there that I can appreciate and enjoy.
So, fast-forward to late 2013. I decided I needed to chill out a bit, and be less goal-oriented in my play time. I realized that I'd gotten very linear and very concerned with 'progress' when I played games. It occurred me to that I was approaching all games with the same mindset, which was to maximize stats, view all available content, and do so in as timely a fashion as possible.
It occurred to me that Bethesda games, at least the first time each is played, aren't easily compatible with this approach. I decided to approach Morrowind (the furthest back I can go without being forced to invoke DOSBox) with a mindset of 'max chill.'
And to be fair, much of this flawed gaming mindset comes from being a pretty happy guy. I have a wife, children, and a full-time job as a developer, so while I have nothing about which to complain, I wouldn't necessarily have the time to complain, anyway.
Either way, it was time to fire up Morrowind (again.) After installing a few mods to get it to render a little prettier, we were 'go.'
As I (very) slowly walked my way through Seyda Neen, I leaned back, chilled myself out, and said, 'just relax ... take your time ... you're here to relax.' And it all finally started to click.
As I very deliberately took in everything around me and talked to everyone, I could almost here Loial, from a Wheel of Time, in my ear: 'humans are always so hasty.'
Since then, I've progressed further in Morrowind than I have in any previous attempt. I'm excited, because I'm so chilled about it. I'm even thinking I'm going to fire up Fallout 3, and then New Vegas, some time during my Elder Scrolls 3-5 playthrough.
I'm an Imperial bard, member of the Thieves' Guild and Imperial Cult, and cannot stand these whining Dunmer. I look forward to joining the Imperial Legion, and doing what I can to bring about greater obedience from these elves.
It is amazing to me how easy these games are to roleplay, though. It seems that these games lack in story, they make up for with depth of lore and freedom of choice. I appreciate now more fully how different but equally successful the BioWare and Bethesda approaches to RPGs are.
It's amazing to me, though, that all it took for me to finally 'get it,' in regards to Bethesda RPGs, was an adjustment to mental approach. Have any of you experienced anything like this?
Also, to those experienced Morrowind players - is there something optional that I absolutely MUST do or somehere optional I absolutely MUST go? Let me know!
I'll keep checking back in every so often about this while I write up my RPGs of 2014. I've got more to say, but I'm eager to get back to Morrowind on this extra day off!
-Blaine
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