I Am Not a Gamer

So, the goal here is to post here every Thursday. Maybe Tony will even contribute here and there.

Also, I tried to keep this light-hearted, but I'm such a fire-breathing eogmaniac that quickly went off the rails.

I was once an ardent gamer. I started out with the Atari 7800, then went to the NES, then envied the neighbor kid's SNES (he always got whatever he wanted as soon as it was out), then went multiplatform with the N64 and PSX and never looked back. In recent years, I've transitioned 90% of my gaming to the PC, but still play my consoles whenever there's something exclusive there, like Forza, Uncharted, Gears, whatever.

I was once proud to call myself a 'gamer,' as it was an easy way to establish a common language with someone, and we could discuss games in a heated and decadent fashion, comparing notes on games that we shared, and recommending games to each other. Before we were all online, back in the 80s and 90s, these were enjoyable discussions, often shared during a cigarette break, or while toiling at a restaurant or retail job, or maybe at a party.

Now, we're all online, and I'm an IT professional. I'm plugged in all day, whether I like it or not.

A lot of things have changed, too, in addition to the internet becoming the focal point of all of our lives.

I've reduced my gaming time, since I have a family and a job, and love both. That's natural, I think. There are two factors, though, that have pushed me to disassociate with the gaming community at large.

One, my tastes have narrowed. I've always been drawn to games that tell stories, and games have been getting better and better at telling mature, compelling stories (see: The Witcher 2.) Almost everything I play now is a rich, epic RPG. I still squeeze in the occasional Forza, Uncharted, or Gears (I love cars, Uncharted games tell great stories, and I love playing Gears with friends), but the lion's share of my time is spent crunching numbers and weaving my way through 40-100 hours interactive stories.

Two, the 'gamer community' sucks. Let's be honest. A lot of 'gamers' have allowed themselves to focus so intently on the games and the surrounding industry that they lose perspective. Instead of being an enjoyable hobby, it becomes not only a way of life, but a constituency that demands 'respect.'

Specifically, where they lost me was the games-as-art thing. I believe games are art. My only concern about someone else believing that is insofar as games qualifying as 'protected speech' under the first amendment. Beyond that, I care fuck-all what Roger Ebert or anyone else thinks. I'm secure in my hobby, and I'm really the only one who needs to care whether it's art or not. Now that I think about it, I don't even really care whether I think it's art. I enjoy it. End of discussion.

By the way, this same discussion applies to reviews and the incredible amount of attention that is, sadly, focused on what some dude rated a game, regardless of what he actually wrote in the review, and equally regardless of what his review history can tell you about his tastes. Just like all art, it's subjective. Who cares what other people think?

Besides, 'art' is a nebulous term. Even getting people to agree on what qualifies as 'art' is an exercise for which I have no patience.

I really feel like many 'hardcore gamers' have straight-up lost their damn minds, and the games-as-art discussion is symptomatic of that. Gaming shouldn't define your lifestyle. Your lifestyle should dictate how you game.

I remember fighting against inevitability when my wife and I had our first child. I tried so hard to retain the 'gamer' lifestyle, buying a ton of games because they might be cool, staying up late drinking, smoking (outside), and gaming, and just making myself miserable after a few months. Slowly, my priorities forced a lot of that out, and I'm glad for it. I still game a bit in the evenings, and I'm actually spending more time, overall, with each game. My pile of shame is reasonable, and life is good.

I'm at a point now in which I don't care what the medium is. A good story is a good story. Whether it be a comic, a novel, a film, a TV show, a web series, or a game, if it's got a good story, I'm there.

The 'gamer' discussions that really interest me have more to do with the business, honestly. I think many of us can all agree that playing videogames is fun, and can be a healthy hobby, so that discussion is over. I find that the artistic side of games is in much the same sorry shape as the film industry. Artistic expression is secondary to marketing factors, and I find great joy in trying to suss out how to 'fix' that. I'll pore over the industry numbers and find that it's actually possible to figure out who's working on what by following the money.

Back to the review thing, there are great discussions to be had with reviewers if you approach them in a reasonable fashion. I love finishing a game, then going back to the published reviews, and engaging the reviewers in discussions. Reasonable discourse can be had on the internet, if you separate yourself from the shambling horde.

There is a reason that 'gamers' are portrayed as 20 and 30-somethings that haven't moved out of their parents' basement and engaged the rest of the real world. It's true in a lot of cases. Gaming can be addictive, especially if your life sucks. I sympathize. I've been there. I blatantly use it as escapism at times, but I'm always conscious of the fact that my wife can find someone better than me, so I limit my game time and give her the attention that such a stunning woman warrants.

Like all things in life, the truth lies somewhere in balance and moderation. From politics to lifestyle, I've found that happiness and clarity lies in the middle. Applying this attitude to my gaming has led to greater enjoyment in the hobby for me.

Anyway, this turned into more of a rant than I intended.

What say you? How have your gaming habits and attitudes toward the gaming community changed as you've gotten older?

Thanks for reading!

-Blaine
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