Portal 2 & the Joy of Mechanics

The main reason I don't like or play many indie games is because they're focused far more on having one unique aspect of either the control or the mechanics be the selling point than they are on delivering a complete 'package.' I'm too old and busy to waste time on something that isn't going to whisk me away to another life and allow me to propel myself through a compelling story.

It's nothing against indie games. Now that I am where I am in my life, I've traded constraints. When I had all that free time, I lacked dollars for games. Now that the dollars are a bit more plentiful, time has become the gaming inhibitor. If I stopped buying games today, I could probably last five years before playing through everything I own, and that's no joke (just don't tell my wife.)

See, I need a reason that I'm hitting a ball against a wall, or guiding mutant sperm around a flowing map while eating lesser sperm. I'm not okay with running and jumping unless there's a vastly important reason that I'm doing it.

So, imagine how exploded my brain was when I started playing Portal 2 the other day and a) I was far more interested in just fucking around with the portal gun than I was anything else, and b) I realized I actually played through the whole first game with a controller.

Portal 2 gets right what so many indie games get wrong.

Interestingly, the portal concept started out with the student project, Narbacular Drop. The same basic principles were in play, and Gabe Newell knows talent when he sees it, so the student team signed on with Valve, and made Portal.

While we're on the subject, maybe you can help me with something. Kim Swift was the lead on ND and the first Portal, though she left Valve before the second game was completed. I was always puzzled by my attraction to her. I mean, she is hot, right?

 (photo credit to Seana Lyn Mickols)

Good-lookin' gal, though, right? I dunno ... anyways ...

I'm just very surprised that I'm THAT into the Portal series,given its 'light' story.

I also wonder why more games don't copy the success of the Portal series. The main mechanic is killer, the writing is really funny, the story is light without being completely pointless, and the puzzles are simultaneously challenging, fun, and exhilarating in their completion.

Indie games, please be more like Portal 2.

- Blaine

PS - three weeks 'til the Witcher 2. Be cool like me and play through the first one. You'll be glad you did.

Dragon Age 2 Thoughts

A handful of folks have asked, so here's my thoughts on Dragon Age 2, now that it's been some time since I finished it.



First, this is based on the vastly superior PC version.

I didn't love it. It's the first Bioware game that's ever left me without the feeling that I'd just experienced magic.

Typically, if I finish an RPG, I heave a huge sigh at the end, lean back, and bask in the fading sunset of the awesome experience I just had. I'll typically duck outside for a smoke, and just reflect on the journey. I'll lust to return to that world again, if only once more, before I die.

I didn't do that this time. I just kind of ... moved on. I didn't hate what I'd just played, but I didn't love it. I guess there were aspects that were cool, but overall, it was a rather bland experience.

What's so hard for this game, and for Bioware, is that this is a sequel, and thus the product insists that the unwashed masses inevitably use the original title as a compass when navigating their reactions to the sequel.

Bearing that in mind, what's damn peculiar is that Pro Reviewer ejaculated love poetry all over this game, while Joe Gamer 'hated' it, because it wasn't as incredible as the original. I've rarely seen such a divide between the pros and Joes before, in terms of review scores and written reactions. source source

Yes, there are exceptions, but please bear in mind that I'm wielding the same hyperbole that is used by anyone else who talks about this game on the internet.

Let's dissect this a bit, shall we?

The combat was actually pretty damn solid. The characters felt more reactive this time, and I was relieved to see that the AI programming tools were left intact, as an 'optional' asset (presumably since market research told them that most people are brainless, drooling retards?) I played as a warrior, but logged time as other characters during combat. I was glad to see that there was an emphasis put on cross-class combos, and it was fun chaining together actions in each individual character, then having that climax in a cross-class ass-whipping on certain bosses.

The game was rather nice to look at, especially once I installed the high-res texture pack. I was skeptical about their ability to improve the ugly-ass engine from the first game, but they did a hell of a job. In particular, combat was amazing to watch, while the world itself was a site to behold ... for the first 10 hours I was staring at Kirkwall.

Kudos to Bioware for taking a risk and placing the entire story in one city. It was bold, and it mostly failed. It could've been better, but the story they chose just wasn't interesting enough. Not enough time was devoted to any one story. Of the three acts, the final Meredith vs. the mages was the most interesting, and that should've been the 'A' story the whole time. The Qunari thing ... yawn.

This isn't to say that I don't love lore, and the exploration of it, quite the opposite, but I didn't feel strongly enough about Meredith at the end to feel strongly about her fate at the end. She needed more screen time, as did my romance with Isabela. Same thing with all my relationships.

What irritates me the most is that this is the second consecutive Bioware title that I've said this about. Both Mass Effect 2 and Dragon Age II are way too streamlined. I miss customizing characters. I miss really getting to know my characters. I miss being able to get lost. I miss not having my potentially favorite games gutted because the average shitfuck needs more action and fewer words in his games.

The problem is, that by trying to satisfy everyone, you satisfy no one.

I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it.

-Blaine